Lessons from Abraham

A few weeks ago in Sunday School our teacher was presenting a lesson on Abraham. Abraham was promised great blessings, but didn't see the fruits of his obedience right away. Our instructor asked the class to reflect on times when they were directed but didn't see the results of their obedience to that prompting until much later on.
An experience immediately came to mind, but I try not to share in class very often because I always end up crying every time I open my mouth!! I reflected on the experience and felt prompted to write it down. It was not a huge experience, but it has always been evidence to me that the Lord is aware of me and will bless us with that which we need.
Ryan and I had been living back East and I only had a few more months until I graduated. We had always planned to return to Utah ASAP, but we grew to love the people and the area in NJ. I was offered a great job at a renowned hospital in Pennsylvania and was very excited about the possibilities of starting my career there temporarily. We thought about it a great deal, we realized that it really made sense to stay where we were for at least another year or two before moving home. We felt really good about our decision and then we prayed about it! We both received the impression that we needed to move home. It was confusing to us because financially and professionally it seemed like the best thing to do.
We did end up moving home and moved in temporarily with my parents. Prior to graduation we learned that we were expecting. I graduated, passed my boards, and began looking for work. I kept looking and looking and nothing was working out. I was finally offered a job 5 months later 1 week before Parker was born, but it was a very part time schedule. When Parker was born he had a cleft lip and palate and required literally around the clock attention. I pumped for 30 -45 minutes every 3 hours and he had to be fed every 2 hours. A feeding lasted anywhere from 45min - 1 hour because of the time required to pump the milk into him with the special feeding system. My parents and brother were absolutely angels during this time. Parker received all the attention that he needed including several surgeries and biweekly doctor appts in the first 6+ months.
I remember reflecting on our situation when this was all occurring and being overwhelmed with God's mercy in providing us with all that we needed during this time. Had we stayed back East we would have been better off financially, but I would not have had the support I needed to take care of Parker. I would have had to return to work and juggle doctor appts and caring for him during and after surgeries. I also would not have been able to stop working because our medical insurance would have been through my work. We recognize that even in the small and seemingly unimportant circumstances of our lives the Lord desires to bless us and blesses us with what we need to be sustained during our difficulties. For that, I am so very grateful!

Middle of the Night Ramblings

Well Addi's been up crying since 3 AM and it appears that she is not slowing down anytime soon! This is the only spot in my house (down in the basement) in which I cannot hear her scream, mamamamamama! I moved poor little gracie out of their room after 30 minutes of her tirade and into my bed! And so I am bedless and wide awake!

Last night we had the opportunity to attend the adult stake/regional conference meeting. It was great. The one talk that really touched me was regarding scripture study and the importance of immersing ourselves in the scriptures. The speaker referenced Jacob where it states that the Spirit will be brought unto our hearts but not into. Action on our part is required to bring it into our hearts, and scripture study was an example of how we could take action in securing those promptings and blessings.

So I silently committed to step it up a notch and consistently read and study my scriptures more. So here are a few insights gathered from my readings last night:
In 1 Nephi 2:12 Nephi is recording Lehi's instructions and teachings to his children and verse 12 states that Laman and Lemuel did murmur against their father "because they knew not the dealings of that God who had created them". Unfortunately, this is one of those times that I can relate with Laman and Lemuel, how easy is it to murmur, to second guess our "lot" or circumstances in life, and to lose our faith in a tender, merciful,and all knowing God.

One of my favorite accounts in the scriptures is found in the first chapter of Moses. Satan appears to Moses and attempts to deceive him, however Moses knows God, he understands the dealings of that God who created him and he is able to distinguish between God and Satan. Later, Moses is becoming trodden down and yet instead of losing sight or faith in himself or the Lord he instead calls upon the Lord and receives strength (vs. 20).

In our lives the circumstances which require us to trust in God and to rely on our knowledge and understanding of his dealings and our relationship with him aren't always as dramatic as Moses', but the results are the same. If we know God, if we have a personal relationship with Him, we will be able to discern and to proceed when difficult decisions need to be made. I was having a conversation with my sweet niece this week who has been wrestling with very difficult decisions of the heart.

She stated that she knows her Heavenly Father and she knows how she receives revelation and that she had realized recently that the Lord would not change his ways with her now when she most needed guidance. I was so impressed and grateful that this young woman had developed a relationship with her Heavenly Father such that she like Moses could distinguish and discern promptings that would bless her and fortify her.

When I reflect on verse 12 I am also acutely reminded that it is important that we understand the dealings of our God so that we will not lose sight of the fact that he is a merciful and loving God who wants us to turn to him not just for guidance but for forgiveness. Recently, I was preparing for singing time and was reading a scriptural reference listed with one of the songs we were working on. The scripture is found in Moroni 10:3, Moroni exhorts us to remember that the Lord is merciful to all his children and to ponder this. I did ponder. I wondered why this was so important to understand and then I understood. If we forget that the Lord is a merciful God, if we fail to understand his kind and merciful dealings with us we will fail to take advantage of the atonement in our lives. We will miss out on His greatest gift.

Well, I didn't mean to post a novel, but I am grateful for the insights I received while studying. I am grateful that my sweet niece knows and understands the dealings of her God and has the confidence and courage to follow the promptings she receives!